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REPORTS

Arsenal Record Overshadowed by Dub

Ulidia, Saturday 15 May 2004, 1:45PM

Dub FC (2)4 BT (0)1

Arsenal may have completed their historic Premiership season unbeaten, but their form over the entire year was average at best according to a leading BSPL pundit. The Gunners record for the 2003-2004 season reads 56 games with 36 wins, 14 draws and 6 losses. This would have been a considerable achievement had it not been for the endeavours of Dub FC whose competitive record for this season was 21 wins, 3 draws and 4 losses.

Dub capped a great season with a day of festivities, starting with the John Quinn testimonial match against former players (plus Shane McCusker who, although yet to move into the ranks of former players, could well be described as past his sell by date). The match was played on the open pitch at Ulidia ? a clever tactical ploy from the Brothers Kernan. The space on the field made sure Dub could play their free-flowing football and BT were knackered after 5 minutes. Dubs top marksmen Kernan and Doherty were on the scoresheet as usual but were made to fight for victory after good performances from Mick Welsh and Desi Maguire in the BT defence and Neal Ward and Paul McWilliams in midfield. John Magee and Peter McToal added to the Dub tally with an honourable mention for Ryan McGurk who tried to end Shane McCuskers career. In the second half, Dub turned things around with Mark Harvey, Sean Doherty and Neil Smyth in particular showing why they aren?t usually allowed past the half way line. Noel McKenna fought hard up front for the old boys and claimed BTs only goal of the game but as the match wore on, the legs gave up.

After the match, all were invited back to the Rose and Crown for a few drinks and snacks laid on by the club sponsor. The locals seemed well impressed that Dub had managed to bring back a trophy after all despite coming second in 3 competitions ? it took a while for them to work out it was for the match that afternoon. A spokesman for the BT former players was disgusted saying, "I couldn?t believe it ? what a fix. It was a total sham and justice has not been carried out today. They had their own referee and the trophy was already engraved before kick-off." When asked, Cormac ?Wenger? Kernan responded, "I did not see zee incident."

The day was far from over and the Dub squad moved on to the restaurant for the End of Season Dinner, AGM and awards ceremony. The team were forced to watch footage of the last night out including Pete "Just call me Ronan" McToal's handy microphone juggling, Chris Hodgkinson's dance floor mincing and Shane McCusker and Art Kernan performing part of their synchronised dance routine. The various official club posts were decided with the Kernan Cartel taking charge for another year and after dinner the awards took place. Club captain McCusker was the only one who felt he didn't deserve Miss of the Year. The retiring Quinn took his annual Hard Man Award despite suffering from vertigo ? a bit harsh then to make him climb 3 flights on a spiral staircase just to get to the meal. Sean Doherty was gracious as ever in accepting his two awards and Phil Doherty (no relation) picked up the Cormac Kernan Perpetual Award for Goal Scoring. Cormac had to make do with top assists (surely a fix) and Ryan McGaughey picked up an award for top appearances. Michael Smyth took the Goal of the Season Award for his screamer against SA Ramblers in the cup but it could have been for any one of his efforts. The more serious awards were left till last. Art Kernan received Club Man of the Year for contributions above and beyond and Neil Smyth edged Pete McToal to the Newcomer Award after some match saving heroics throughout the year. John Quinn bowed out gracefully when he took the Lifetime Achievement Award ? he'll be missed on and off the pitch. Finally, Sean Mullan was at long last admitted to the Hall of Fame as he deserved the Player of the Year Award. His performances this season were only overshadowed by a late appearance by Tony Kerr.

It was then back to the Rose and Crown where things degenerated into the usual game of "Don't Let the Barman Get Home".

Squad

Tony Kerr, Neil Smyth, Shane Murphy, Mark Harvey, Sean Doherty, Gareth Dickson, John Quinn, Art Kernan, John Magee, Kristian Hill, Peter McToal, Ryan McGaughey, Cormac Kernan, Phil Doherty

Subs

Match Statistics
Goals Cormac Kernan
John Magee
Phil Doherty
Peter McToal
Assists -
Yellow cards -
Red cards -
Man of the match -
The Rose & Crown - Official Dub FC Sponsors
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