Dub Win First Match of 2005

Ormeau Park, Sunday 16 January 2005, 1:30PM

St. Michael's FC (0)0 Dub FC (2)2

Dub recorded an important league victory in their last game before the Shield semi-final, consolidating their mid table position, with a game in hand over their nearest rivals. As it was almost a month since Dub's last competitive outing, the Kernan mafiosa mandated a 1pm arrival at Ormeau Park, with the fine system threatened for late arrivals. Money talks, and this meant a solid showing at the requested time, with even Doc avoiding the fine. However, the big man's pre-match preparations of "hide the sausage" caused a few worried looks around the changing room, until it became clear he was just having his normal athlete's sausage roll breakfast.

With a new BSPL ref in charge, the game was set for some new rules - 45mins each way. Newly crowned 30-something Dickson looked especially worried at this news, as he wondered if had overdone it at the Fireman's YMCA party the night before. However, Dub got off to a great start. St Michaels took a shot straight from the centre, which was easily parried by keeper Gillen, who promptly dispatched the ball down the field, shouting "Ryan!". When the ball arrived directly at Cormac, the Dub striker got the slightest of touches to steer the ball over the advancing keeper and into the net. Dub were 1-0 up in less than a minute.

However, apathy quickly set in, and despite having the majority of the possession, Dub lacked any real bite and only produced a couple of half chances in the next half hour. Harvey's well marshalled back four were solid throughout, with a combination of hard tackling, good anticipation, and whinging like a bunch of incontinent old ladies at the industrious midfield making all the difference. It took a set piece to extend Dubs advantage. A corner from someone I've forgotten was met by an airborne Mullan, who headed onto the cross bar. While most Dub players watched in admiration of the effort, fire-shy Fireman Dickson raced through to meet the rebound and grab his first goal of the season, an impressive 1 more than the number of fires he has put out. Half time 2-0.

Dub started the second half confidently, despite playing against the wind. Gradually chances began to materialise, with a through ball from Mullan to the sprinting McGurk presenting a great goal-scoring opportunity. However, several weeks couped up in a hotel in England on rich food had affected McGurk, and the challenging St Michaels defender was transfixed by the wee fella's boy breasts. A crude grope in the penalty area was the result, with referee pointing straight to the spot. With pensions and houses being bet on 3-0 as McCann set the ball on the spot, the keeper made a suprising save to keep St Michael's interest in the game alive.

Dub kept pressing after this disappointment, looking for the goal to finish off the match. That very nearly came with 15mins to go, when Mullan collected the ball at the edge of the box in mid air, did the kind of triple twisting back somersault rarely seen outside of the Olympic arena, and chipped the ball onto the bar. Temporarily forgetting himself, he curtseyed and blew kisses to the crowd before remembering he wasn't at his dance evening class and retreated to the half way line looking slightly embarrassed.

Art deployed all 3 subs as Dub searched for another goal, with O'Reilly and Hill producing solid displays. The assistant manager brought himself on as full back as a final throw of the dice, replacing Dub's oldest player McCollum, who limped off the field in his speed-walking funeral march. Art surpassed all expectations by playing the remainder of the game without picking up another career-threatening injury. However, the new talent didn't bring any new goals and the game ended 2-0.

Dub can now look forward to their Shield semi final, with a couple of mandatory training sessions to get the Christmas holidays sluggishness out of the system.

Squad

Liam Gillen, Mark Harvey, Sean Doherty, Liam McCollum (sub 75 mins), Gareth Dickson, Sean Mullan, Donal McCann, Shane McCusker, Ryan McGaughey (sub 65 mins), Cormac Kernan, Phil Doherty (sub 80 mins)

Subs

Patrick O'Reilly (65 mins), Kristian Hill (75 mins), Art Kernan (80 mins)

Match Statistics

Goals	Cormac Kernan Gareth Dickson
Assists	Sean Mullan Liam Gillen
Yellow cards	-
Red cards	-
Man of the match	Liam McCollum